Untittled

A few days ago, a good friend experienced a loss. It was not only sudden but belief-defying, and the magnitude of it left them, momentarily at least, shaken. I wrote this poem that afternoon.

We live in a world where Pain, it breathes

  hotter than any dragon's fire

and then with every step in life

  Jealousy’s wall climbs, just a little bit higher

 

Confusion, Loss, clawing Sadness

  drowns hearts with a fear that’s ocean deep

Is it any wonder that in this flawless madness,

  We hunt for magic in our dreams



~~~~



 

Life is Like a Bubble

Another poem today. No real story behind it, just the direction of my mind today...

Life is like a bubble of exquisite magic,

promising infinite wonder

yet is delicate, fragile.

Starting off with joy, with flight

it dares to be bold

For some that lasts forever, for others

gravity takes hold.

 

 

 

~~~~

 

 

 

 

Poem

One day back in September 2011, I was in Maine. It was late afternoon and I'd gone out running along the long two lane road my friends (and at that time I) were living on. The street glowed with fallen red, orange and golden leaves; thousands more danced along the branches of the tall trees that guarded the street; a glorious mixture of vibrant life and color. I'd taken my iPod along, counting on the music to help inspire my legs to keep moving. At one point they needed a rest; I slowed my pace and softly got lost in the dizzying magic of color. Breathing in crisp clean air, I let the words of a song carry my mind to the world of faeries. I turned my head then to gaze up at a particularly firery patch of color, and a world with the most incredible magic suddenly woke in my mind...

That night, and in the years since, I have tried to delve deeper into the details of that world's story. So far my efforts have not found success, this week though they did discover the words of this poem. I'll keep working on the story but until then...

Trees of silver branches

leaves that glow lazuli blue,

A web of lost enchantments

all beneath the frozen moon

The sun has lost all wonder

 the air a liquid poison stone,

Every hope descends to madness

  escape through time forever gone

It's a world of desolation

 rage, fear, tiers of twisted fun,

No dream can stave this desperation 

until the final battle's done 

~~~~

 

'Normal'

The first week back from Alaska is never fun. Thankfully, this time around I had a fairly solid ‘Stay as Busy as Possible’ plan, which made the whole experience somewhat less awful than times past. While writing was part of that plan I produced nothing that could be even remotely considered good. Still, I have a strong desire to do better with this blog, so I present instead a small bit from earlier year. It was Day 9 of my January 30 Day Writing Challenge, the quest “Some Words of Wisdom That Speak to You”…

 

 

“Do not expect your life to return to normal. That is not what you had in mind when you entered on this odyssey. Normal is a conduct that has no frame of reference in the realities for which you are preparing.”

I do not know who, where or when those words were first uttered, or written. I googled them once but found nothing. I first saw them back in 2010, printed on a postcard painting that'd been taped to the visor of a Subaru that belonged to one of my housesitting clients. Over the next year I housesat for those clients several times and always would use their car to take the dogs hiking twice a day. In all the times I climbed into the driver seat of that car, never once did those words fail to wow me. Their impact and meaning  carved a deep imprint on my soul and left an echo that has followed me through years into each new journey, trial and fearful change. Their message has been a guide, a soft reminder of my deepest dreams, and a balm in moments that chance left me trembling. Their message was also a catalyst, driving me to make the kind of choices that would uproot me from my ‘normal’. They are the whisper behind so the few experiences where I have done something terrifying and, in so doing,  really truly lived. 

I may never learn the original source of these words but I am grateful, deeply, that the universe saw fit to place them in my path, for my life is forever infinitely richer because of them.  

 

Ten Spots of Happiness

Today's post (for time purposes) will be short and sweet. I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I had partaken in a 30 Day Writing Challenge and Day 1 was to "Write a List of 10 Things That Make You Happy". Well here it is...

                       1) Faelina and her faerie madness

                       2)Early morning coffee in darkness, by dark I mean both the coffee and night sky

                       3) Opening a new book, so much promise is held in that moment

                       4) The satisfaction and relief that comes at the end of a long hike

                       5) The perfect clearness of the moon in winters night

                       6) Sparkles (or sprinkles!)

                       7) Spontaneous all nighters

                       8) Alaska - it's existence, it's beauty, it's soul

                       9) Tanner and David - forever

                      10) The word 'Always' and all the magic that comes with it.

 

 

 

Happy Sunday evening to all of you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Alice

It was many months ago the opening words of this poem first unfolded themselves in my mind. I was hiking and happened upon a spot that seemed as perfectly suited for a Mad Tea Party as it was a quiet place for a young girl to rest her head and dream. I was in a rather dark state of mind at the time. It was right after my July trip home and I was missing Alaska with an almost desperate madness. I took hold of that feeling and wove it into this poem, bolstering it with visions I'd gained after reading the truly terrifying 'Alice'; a novel by Christina Henry. The story is a masterful retelling of Lewis Carroll's tale, but definitely not one meant for a child's ears. I will never again think of the character of Walrus without shuddering in horror.

By the time my deep sadness passed on I'd become too attached to these words to abandon them. The poem's seen many revisions and likely will receive more in the future. For now though I feel the need to move on, and so have decided to share.

I sit at the spot Alice once fell,

from deepest dreams into darkest hell.

A place simple tears transformed to ocean screams,

and death-vined roses bowed to the Mad Queen.

 

Trembling with terror, Alice twisted and fled,

but night's velvet wings soon entangled each step

Walrus inched closer, tusks dripping with wine

Rabbit's red grin whispered slowly "It's Time"

 

I sit at the spot where once Alice dreamed,
inside a world of the darkest means.
She would have escaped but for that skeleton grin,
which then disappeared slowly, never seen again.

~~~~



 

Back with Books

Epic failure. I'd say that's a pretty apt description of my effort to keep up this blog the past few months. I won’t even try to go into reasons why. There are reasons, but excuses all of them, and all ones I’ve used countless times before. I will only say now that I vow to do better and hopefully this time will follow through. Lack of blog posts aside, I can happily report that I have not let any/all writing fall by the wayside. In fact, these last two months in particular I have found a renewed focus to write and have done so most every day. It’s all been journal writing, sometimes on the events of a day, others on an issue I’m struggling with. I’ve also been working on a 30 Day Writing Challenge, although I’ll openly admit it’s taken me longer than 30 days. I might end up sharing some Challenge outcomes in future posts. There has also been a bit of change/newness that I’ll update this blog world on soon…ish. Today though I’m easing back in with something short, sweet and – for me – me fairly easy: books.

Since the start of a new year I’ve read a great many books. Some I’ve found deeply moving and/or delightfully enjoyable. This list here is a sample of my favorites and if you’ve not read them I highly hope you will.

East of Eden (John Steinbeck) – This book was placed (literally) into my hands by one of the teachers at Benchmark and for that I owe him great thanks. Thoughtful, profound this epic moves softly through decades, winding in and out of hopeful dreams and sad truths, much like the slow moving river that runs through the Salinas Valley. The splendor of the writing pulled me inside the lives of each character effortlessly, such that by books the end I felt that I had gained a dozen close personal friends. This is one that I will look at with fondness for many years to come.

 

 

 

Fahrenheit 451(Ray Bradbury) – This is the first of the many dystopian books I have on this year’s reading list (I’m halfway through 1984 now). It is also the first time I’ve been introduced to the works of Ray Bradbury (which I now know is a negative on my part). It is a brilliantly written promise of how bad things will become if society insists on sitting idly by in ignorance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Scarlet Pimpernel (Baroness Emma Magdalena Rosalia Maria Josefa Barbara Orczy) – While the scenes of this quiet little classic take place among some truly horrific facts of the 1792 French Revolution, I quite enjoyed this book. There was lightness to the writing, an impossibility of the story, which allows the reader a separate themselves from the harsh reality of history. At least that was my perception; perhaps though it's just my affinity for the macabre speaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Poet of Loch Ness (Brian Jay Corrigan) – Beautiful story, breathtaking writing. Entirely entranced throughout this too short book , I was left dreaming for the wilds of Scotland long after I closed it's cover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith) – This book technically shouldn’t be on this list since I read it last November. However, it has left such an impact on my heart and spirit that I feel bound to spread its greatness to as many people as I possibly can. This isn’t a happy book; in fact it’s often quite sad or disheartening. But it is a book that from its first page made me question how the hell I’d managed to live the first 29 years of my life without it. Nothing I write could possibly capture how magnificent it is, bely how richly Smith has written each and every moment, or accurately describe the feeling one gets as they connect with the characters in a way that is not often felt with their closest friends, much less characters in a book. It will forever be one of the favorite books of my life. Read it.