A Letter to My Niece

Little Harlow,

Welcome to life! I am so excited that you are finally here. When you were less than an hour old, your mom and dad called me and I got saw your tiny, real face for the first time. I felt tears of joy form then, and they lingered in my eyes for days afterward. I knew in that moment that I had to see you as soon as possible, that I had to return home sooner than planned. So I did, and when I first held you, I was overwhelmed with awe at your every perfection. I was also so grateful that you actually let me hold you – unlike your brother when he was a new baby!

~*~

Three years ago, I wrote a letter to your brother and cousin right after they were born. In it I shared my wishes and dreams for them, my hopes for their life, and, though meager, wisdom. Everything in that letter I want for you as well. I want you to know by heart all the words and songs of your favorite movies. I want you to be excited for bed on Friday nights, because you know that when you wake on Saturday an entire table of syrupy pancakes and blueberry muffins will be waiting for you. I want you to witness the fathomless peace that comes over you when you wake to find a kitten curled up in your arms, it's whispery purr rumbling from your head to your toes. To swim in the limitless spirit that floods you when surrounded by a desert's song.

I hope that the brightness of your spirit will outshine the greatest dark this world tries to throw at you. That you know oceans of love and joy and peace. That in those waters only the faintest and most minor droplets of pain and sadness land upon you. And speaking of oceans; it is my fervent wish that you will get to travel through all of them, and with gleeful anticipation step foot in every country and continent you desire to explore. I dream that, amidst the chaos and uncertainty of our troubled, beautiful world, you are able to find a true home. A place that makes you feel complete, whole - the way I do when I breathe in the air of Alaska.

Something else I shared with Tanner and David were the words “Follow Your Bliss", a missive first spoken by your Grandpa Berg. In the volume and routine of daily life, it is a mission so easily lost, and yet I believe it is so important to each person that they do seek out their own vision of bliss. There is another reason why so many people do not follow their soul's poem - it is not an easy path. It is hard, and scary and full of treacherous, vicious thoughts. So many people hold back from their dreams because of those thoughts, because they allow the initial flickerings of doubt to erupt so high that they drop their plans like forgotten pennies on the pavement. 

Create the courage to be different. To learn to let yourself grow used to, and live with, fear. It is OK to be afraid, that’s part of what makes you human, but it is vital that you talk back to your fear whenever it dares dissuade you. Ask it questions, uncover it’s loopholes and weak spots. Find them and you'll be able to climb through every obstacle thrown at you, with a rare freedom waiting for you on the other side. It will be so hard to do this at first, crushing to a point that it will feel impossible. It isn't though, and the more you fight back, the easier it will become to keep fighting.

I also pray that you grow up to define yourself by your soul, and not your body. While you are physically beautiful, that is not all you are. Not even close. We live in a world that, regrettably, tries to judge women by how they look and dress, what color their hair and eyes are, whether they’re too much or too little of something, honing in on a number on a scale. These cruel judgments of the world are not important and I want you fling them away from you as far as possible. 

So when you watch the movies of Disney princesses don't just notice their beauty, but their inner power as well. Belle’s bravery, Merida’s fierceness, Cinderella’s kindness to animals. Then go learn about the real life princesses  - the warrior ones – Zenobia and Boudicca. Read the stories of women who did not smother their truths at the request of others, nor let talk of 'a men’s world' keep them from diving into science and politics and adventure - Marie Curie and Queen Elizabeth I, Sally Ride and Nellie Bly. Place importance on the tales of women who aided others, knowing that those actions jeopardized their very lives - Sojurner Truth and Harriet Tubman and Malala Yousafza. Soak up the stories of these women - and countless others - and let them inspire you to find the story of your life that you need to be told.  

I look forward so much to seeing you grow. To watch as you navigate the complexities of siblinghood, and parent's rules. To being part of the support system that helps you discover which pathways and rivers you want to travel down. I am eager to know the sound of your laughter, to witness the way your eyes light up at the sight of the tree on Christmas morning, and to share in your joy as you discover the pure magic that is Harry Potter. I can't wait to watch you discover the miracle of worlds that exist between the covers of books, and to whisk you away on coffee dates and trips to the movies. And when you are playing sports or dancing or singing or taking part in spelling bees or math competitions, I will always be cheering you on, perhaps not always in person, but absolutely in spirit.

Finally, let your own, unique powers glow and give yourself free reign to be wild or calm, silly or serious, loud or quiet, to be all of these and everything in between if that is what you desire. Dictate to the world who you will be, not the other way around.

*~*

Dear Harlow, when I first learned of your coming, it was as I walked through a forest of tall, ancient trees. I celebrated your new existence within a sea of old ones. I loved you entirely then. I love you infinitely more now. I always will.

          - Aunt Kelly (Kiki)

~*~*~