When I arrived at Stephanie's in the
late afternoon sun of October 20th, I still was having
doubts on whether I'd made the right decision to move to Utah. Now
those doubts are gone.
I won't lie and say I feel 100%
completely at home here, or that no longer wish I could have somehow
found a way to stay in Norway for good, but unless I am actually back
in Alaska or a job in Norway suddenly presents itself, I pretty much
always expect to have those feelings. And I do miss Maine. I think of
and wish for Brunswick a ton – Maine street, Gelato Fiasco,
stopping in at the library, walking around Bowdoin, attending shows
at the Theater Project and so much more. Never a city girl I miss the
small town feel that lived in every city there – including
Portland. I wanted the fall leaves back the second I left them
behind, and whenever it rains it feels wrong to not smell the salt
of the ocean in the air. I miss the emphasis on recycling, living
greener, and buying local and organic foods. I miss the fact that
most of the stores and restaurants I saw were small local business
versus the big chains. And even though I knew what I was getting
myself into by moving to Utah, I miss being surrounded by a more
liberal atmosphere. Most of all I don't like being away from all the
people I said goodbye to. There's my friends of course, but also
those that were more acquaintances but all the same never failed to
brighten my day when I saw them. It saddens me beyond reason that I
don't know when – or if – I'll ever see them again.
But like I've written before, my heart
told me it was time to go. I picked Utah because I had hoped it would
be a good place to call home until such time that I was able to carve
out the details of what I did want more and was able to weave those
details into my life. These past seven and a half weeks have been a
prime example of why it is important to take a deep breath and follow
what your heart is telling you to do – even if your mind is unsure
of what you want - because as each week passed I've become more
confident that Utah will allow me to do exactly what I'd hoped. And I
get to do it while living with my best friend.
A little history for those not in the
know, my parents moved next door to Stephanie's family when I was
about a year old. Despite the six year age difference between us
Stephanie decided pretty much immediately that she wanted us two to
be friends. Every day she knocked on our door asking if I could play
and every day my mom told her no because I was only a baby. This
lasted until I turned two at which point my mom just gave up and we
have been friends ever since. I have no memory of life without
Stephanie in it, but in our 26 years of friendship 18 of them have
been spent with us living in different states – far away different
states. Getting to see her every day now is nothing short of awesome
and she (and her husband and all the kids) has been absolutely
phenomenal in welcoming me into her home.
Knowing that going from living on my
own to suddenly being surrounded by seven other people all the time,
she created a bedroom for me that would be the perfect oasis for me
to escape to when it all became a little too much. It's light and
airy with a comfortable bed, fairy lights, and other sweet magical
touches that perfectly hint at my love for magic, skeleton keys,
Maine, Harry Potter and the night sky. I've been given cabinet space
in the kitchen and a fridge in their basement to store all my food.
And along with telling me I'm welcome to help myself help myself to
whatever food is in the house, she makes sure my stock of Cinnamon
Apple Spice tea is never depleted!
I also love that I get to see her kids
every day. Knowing that I don't have to cram every activity into a
short period of time, I have been able to quietly enjoy the daily
moments that make up their lives – starting in the early hours of
the morning when they're waking up and getting ready for school and
ending with the sometimes calm, usually hectic routine of getting
them all down for the night. I love hearing the excited “HI KELLY”
that comes from the two youngest whenever I come back home from an
errand. I now have time to get to know the other kids favorite foods,
places, games etc... (and conversely the things they don't like). And
it has been awesome to watch the kids decorate for Christmas,
excitedly look for the two Elves on the Shelf each morning, and talk
about what Santa will bring them on the big day.
I am not the only who, so far, is
adjusting well to the move. The first few days after arriving I kept
them in my room, as planned, and only brought the kids in one at a
time because even that scared both into hiding. But it became
apparent to me fairly quickly the original plan would be harder to
stick to than I'd thought. Mainly because I spent so much time out in
the rest of the house and I felt guilty not letting them have the
attention (from me) that they were used to. So with Steph's
permission I cautiously began experiment with opening the door and
letting them explore. Once Synge realized we weren't leaving any time
soon she's been fine and seems completely unphased by the extra
adults, kids and animals she now shares a house with. Most days I
find her sleeping underneath Steph's clothes in her closet. Faelina's
had a little more difficulty settling in. The first few weeks she
spent hiding out of sight until all the kids were either out of the
house or asleep and running like a T-Rex is after her whenever
Steph's dogs gave chase (they're a chihuahua and a teacup yorkie).
When it comes to the dogs she still hasn't quite figured out that all
she needs to do is turn around and hiss, but the dogs are getting
better at not chasing and she is getting smarter about not fleeing.
As for the kids, each day that passes she seems to get a little
braver and come out into view a little more often. She still doesn't
like anyone but me to touch her but she'll get there!
Of course it hasn't been all fun and
happiness. Quite often though being around so many people and the
noise (both good and and bad) that comes with is way too much for me.
Out of nowhere my inner introvert panics and I'm overcome with a
desperate need to run until I'm surrounded only by wilderness.
Sometimes those moments are mere flashes disappearing seconds later,
other times they pretty much the whole day. Whenever they come that's
usually when simply I walk to my room and close the door. I'll stay
there in silence for a few minutes – or hours – until I'm ready
to rejoin the world of people again. Something that goes a long way
in lessening the frequency of these episodes are the few times that
I've been able to have the house to myself. When the whole family
goes to church or heads out to a family Christmas party I have a few
hours to be completely free of any people which calms my inner
introvert and makes me happy to see the family when they arrive home.
As far as Utah itself goes, for the
most part it's been great. Every day I step outside see the mountains
and instantly my heart feels safe and calm, the lack of humidity is
incredibly refreshing, and it just feels right to be back in the wild
beauty of the west. I haven't done a whole lot of exploring but
hopefully, when I'm a bit more settled, I'll be able to make weekend
excursions to the Arches, Bryce, Zion and many other less famous
hiking grounds! There is one drive-thru coffee shop, The Daily Rise,
that makes a wickedly good americano! And for the first time in four
years I am just a short drive from my all time favorite bookstore
Barnes and Noble. I have even found a job as the Admissions Coordinator and Executive Assistant at
Benchmark Behavioral Hospital in Woods Cross. It is a job that I
expect will keep me constantly busy, learning, and excited about. My first day is tomorrow and I
can only hope that I will be able to meet their expectations. Lucky for me (yet maybe not so good for my bank account) this place is within a five minute
drive from a Starbucks, an amazing natural foods store, and a Barnes
& Noble!
That is all for now, hopefully I'll have more exciting adventures to share in the future!
