Utah Living

When I arrived at Stephanie's in the late afternoon sun of October 20^th, I still was having doubts on whether I'd made the right decision to move to Utah. Now those doubts are gone.

I won't lie and say I feel 100% completely at home here, or that no longer wish I could have somehow found a way to stay in Norway for good, but unless I am actually back in Alaska or a job in Norway suddenly presents itself, I pretty much always expect to have those feelings. And I do miss Maine. I think of and wish for Brunswick a ton – Maine street, Gelato Fiasco, stopping in at the library, walking around Bowdoin, attending shows at the Theater Project and so much more. Never a city girl I miss the small town feel that lived in every city there – including Portland. I wanted the fall leaves back the second I left them behind, and whenever it rains it feels wrong to not smell the salt of the ocean in the air. I miss the emphasis on recycling, living greener, and buying local and organic foods. I miss the fact that most of the stores and restaurants I saw were small local business versus the big chains. And even though I knew what I was getting myself into by moving to Utah, I miss being surrounded by a more liberal atmosphere. Most of all I don't like being away from all the people I said goodbye to. There's my friends of course, but also those that were more acquaintances but all the same never failed to brighten my day when I saw them. It saddens me beyond reason that I don't know when – or if – I'll ever see them again.

But like I've written before, my heart told me it was time to go. I picked Utah because I had hoped it would be a good place to call home until such time that I was able to carve out the details of what I did want more and was able to weave those details into my life. These past seven and a half weeks have been a prime example of why it is important to take a deep breath and follow what your heart is telling you to do – even if your mind is unsure of what you want - because as each week passed I've become more confident that Utah will allow me to do exactly what I'd hoped. And I get to do it while living with my best friend.

A little history for those not in the know, my parents moved next door to Stephanie's family when I was about a year old. Despite the six year age difference between us Stephanie decided pretty much immediately that she wanted us two to be friends. Every day she knocked on our door asking if I could play and every day my mom told her no because I was only a baby. This lasted until I turned two at which point my mom just gave up and we have been friends ever since. I have no memory of life without Stephanie in it, but in our 26 years of friendship 18 of them have been spent with us living in different states – far away different states. Getting to see her every day now is nothing short of awesome and she (and her husband and all the kids) has been absolutely phenomenal in welcoming me into her home.

Knowing that going from living on my own to suddenly being surrounded by seven other people all the time, she created a bedroom for me that would be the perfect oasis for me to escape to when it all became a little too much. It's light and airy with a comfortable bed, fairy lights, and other sweet magical touches that perfectly hint at my love for magic, skeleton keys, Maine, Harry Potter and the night sky. I've been given cabinet space in the kitchen and a fridge in their basement to store all my food. And along with telling me I'm welcome to help myself help myself to whatever food is in the house, she makes sure my stock of Cinnamon Apple Spice tea is never depleted!

I also love that I get to see her kids every day. Knowing that I don't have to cram every activity into a short period of time, I have been able to quietly enjoy the daily moments that make up their lives – starting in the early hours of the morning when they're waking up and getting ready for school and ending with the sometimes calm, usually hectic routine of getting them all down for the night. I love hearing the excited “HI KELLY” that comes from the two youngest whenever I come back home from an errand. I now have time to get to know the other kids favorite foods, places, games etc... (and conversely the things they don't like). And it has been awesome to watch the kids decorate for Christmas, excitedly look for the two Elves on the Shelf each morning, and talk about what Santa will bring them on the big day.

I am not the only who, so far, is adjusting well to the move. The first few days after arriving I kept them in my room, as planned, and only brought the kids in one at a time because even that scared both into hiding. But it became apparent to me fairly quickly the original plan would be harder to stick to than I'd thought. Mainly because I spent so much time out in the rest of the house and I felt guilty not letting them have the attention (from me) that they were used to. So with Steph's permission I cautiously began experiment with opening the door and letting them explore. Once Synge realized we weren't leaving any time soon she's been fine and seems completely unphased by the extra adults, kids and animals she now shares a house with. Most days I find her sleeping underneath Steph's clothes in her closet. Faelina's had a little more difficulty settling in. The first few weeks she spent hiding out of sight until all the kids were either out of the house or asleep and running like a T-Rex is after her whenever Steph's dogs gave chase (they're a chihuahua and a teacup yorkie). When it comes to the dogs she still hasn't quite figured out that all she needs to do is turn around and hiss, but the dogs are getting better at not chasing and she is getting smarter about not fleeing. As for the kids, each day that passes she seems to get a little braver and come out into view a little more often. She still doesn't like anyone but me to touch her but she'll get there!

Of course it hasn't been all fun and happiness. Quite often though being around so many people and the noise (both good and and bad) that comes with is way too much for me. Out of nowhere my inner introvert panics and I'm overcome with a desperate need to run until I'm surrounded only by wilderness. Sometimes those moments are mere flashes disappearing seconds later, other times they pretty much the whole day. Whenever they come that's usually when simply I walk to my room and close the door. I'll stay there in silence for a few minutes – or hours – until I'm ready to rejoin the world of people again. Something that goes a long way in lessening the frequency of these episodes are the few times that I've been able to have the house to myself. When the whole family goes to church or heads out to a family Christmas party I have a few hours to be completely free of any people which calms my inner introvert and makes me happy to see the family when they arrive home.

As far as Utah itself goes, for the most part it's been great. Every day I step outside see the mountains and instantly my heart feels safe and calm, the lack of humidity is incredibly refreshing, and it just feels right to be back in the wild beauty of the west. I haven't done a whole lot of exploring but hopefully, when I'm a bit more settled, I'll be able to make weekend excursions to the Arches, Bryce, Zion and many other less famous hiking grounds! There is one drive-thru coffee shop, The Daily Rise, that makes a wickedly good americano! And for the first time in four years I am just a short drive from my all time favorite bookstore Barnes and Noble. I have even found a job as the Admissions Coordinator and Executive Assistant at Benchmark Behavioral Hospital in Woods Cross. It is a job that I expect will keep me constantly busy, learning, and excited about. My first day is tomorrow and I can only hope that I will be able to meet their expectations. Lucky for me (yet maybe not so good for my bank account) this place is within a five minute drive from a Starbucks, an amazing natural foods store, and a Barnes & Noble!

That is all for now, hopefully I'll have more exciting adventures to share in the future!