Embrace

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most of us are not entirely 100% satisfied with who we are. Most have things we wish we were better at, skills we always dream of developing, and habits that we either long to start or stop (depending on the habit). While we likely think about these things often, these wishes/plans/resolutions tend to be most discussed at the turn of each new year. Some people eschew the idea of New Years Resolutions entirely, but a fair number of us come up with at least one – if not a whole list. At times creating the resolution in the farthest we get into it, at others we make a decent attempt to follow through but as time passes our resolve wanes into non-existence, and then occasionally we complete the year happily successful.

I think for me the reason behind so many of my resolutions getting left by the wayside of time is that I am too specific in what I want. In the course of daily life it is simply too difficult to stick to the exact goal; inevitably I slip up a few times causing discouragement to flourish thereby paving the way for resolution abandonment to follow. Then at my first New Years in Maine I was introduced to a refreshingly new way to approach the whole 'New Years Resolution' thing, one that practically caused me to spark with excitement. I read an article in which the author wrote about scrapping the common long list of resolutions and instead encouraged everyone to "Pick a word, a word you really, really want to apply to just about every corner of your life. Then keep it with you, and live it. Inhabit it.

Be it."

I spent a few days letting my mind roll through all the words I'd ever known before landing on the exact right one – Fearless. As 2012 took over the world I tried to breathe that word into all of my actions and was amazed at the power saying it gave me even if I'd merely whispered it inside the quiet of my mind. It helped me to grow in such fantastic ways that their ripple effects still touch my life today. It made me brave enough to say, try, and do things I might otherwise have let pass by with regret. It helped me immensely to care not even an inch about what others thought of me. It became my personal motto – Breathe and Be Fearless – and remains so to this day. As 2015 came to a close I thought a lot about which word I wanted to hold on to not only this year but continually for the rest of my life. And as this New Years weekend draws to a close I now know it to be Embrace.

I want to learn to Embrace all of who I am. Embrace my body for what it is, and my mind for the equal amounts of craziness and sanity that live inside it. Embrace not only the days that are wrapped in happiness, but also each sorrow and struggle I experience for without them I wouldn't be me. Embrace the new chances and opportunities that will come with living in Utah, that will accompany me as I walk through the door of work each day. Embrace this incredible world I exist in – to never let myself forget to gaze in awe and wonder at the mountains I see each time I step outside, or let my eyes pass unseeing over the sparkling waters of rivers, lakes, waterfalls – even rain puddles. Embrace the frozen diamonds in winter's snow and the glowing magic of the night sky. Embrace the instinctual calling of the birds flying above, the quiet calm of the cows in the pastures, and the joyful purrs of my cats curled up next to me. Embrace not only the wonderful moments of silence I get on those rare occasions I'm home alone but also try to Embrace the craziness and yelling that is inescapable in a house of five kids. Embrace the sweetness of the moment when Stephanie's two year old little girl snuggles up with me on the couch or the time her four year old ran up to me holding an apple he'd decided on his own accord I needed simply because he knows how much I love them.
 
It is so easy for me to get caught up in frustrated thoughts, impatience, self-anger and self-doubt. It takes less then a second for my mind to stop paying attention to the wonders and blessings around me and get bogged down by thoughts of the future or regrets of my past. I want to learn to Embrace the present moment – whatever that may be. I think that if I can do that this year my life will be better for it in every year that comes after.