Safe and Easy

There are people, everywhere and in all walks of life, who are not happy with  their life. I'm not talking about the daily grumbles and small stresses, nor the outside cannon balls that are impossible to avoid no matter what and who you are. This also isn't about those individuals suffering from clinical depression. Instead, I mean individuals who carry in their hearts a deep sense of discontent, and possible regret over their current life path and the decisions that led to it. They are souls who dream of something different. And yet...when the moment comes for them to take the scary and fear-riddled actions needed to find satisfying change, they choose to let things as they are, and they do so because it is safe and easy.

Except that it's not. 

I firmly believe that if you're unsatisfied you are uncomfortable. That no matter how much you might tell yourself it's easier to leave and let lie, the truth is that you face a daily battle to wake up and face the world. It is a fight that will get harder every single day. And the more effort and willpower you're forced to pour into your chink-riddled, echo-less routine, the less comfortable - and therefore less safe - you feel. Keep this up and you'll one day to catch the realization that your decision to stick with what was 'safe and easy' was really the road to numb life, dangerously un-lived.

You have to seek change. You have to face the fears you know cloak the taste of your dreams. You have to be ok with not being ok for a little while. It's the only way to close your eyes each night knowing you've done all you can to dance the life you've dreamed of.

~*~

Those were the thoughts I kept in a running stream this morning, as I pulled out of my drive in the early pre-dawn hours leaving my 'safe and easy' behind. For a long time the sky was a black nothing and I shared the roads only with semis and miles upon miles of construction signs and materials that had been temporarily sidelined for the night. I hit the Idaho state line at 5:25am and when I pulled into Boise just past nine, the sky had shivered the night fully away giving way to the creamy gray that only comes with wildfires.

The rest of the day passed quietly. Faelina stayed at a vet clinic until I was able to check into my AirBnB. I drove around checking out the cities offerings. Smoke aside, Boise seems like a fun place, one that I can see myself someday returning to. Tomorrow is the real challenge though. The weather forecasts shows high temperatures and many of you know, I'm extremely worried about how Faelina will manage. Even I am willing to admit that the amount of tears I've cried over this fear, and this move overall, borders on the ridiculous.

Still I am choosing bravery. I am choosing change and adventure. I am choosing a life free of regrets, and (as long as Faelina makes it through unscathed) it will all bring me true safety and ease. It will all be worth it in the end.