News and Words

So today was the big day. At 7:30 this morning I walked into the nurses office at work and stepped onto that scale. I didn't lose anymore weight and, according to what I was told, I didn't gain any either. I stayed the same as last week which means the extra Ensure/food each day did what it was supposed to. Unfortunately, there really wouldn't have been any result that would have left me satisfied. Part of me is happy this last week of discomfort wasn't for nothing, and by that I mean that I didn't lose any more. Part of me is relieved that I didn't gain. And she is furious that the number didn't continue downward. She is also telling me that I was lied to, that I did in fact gain 10 pounds and I need to cut out that Ensure and more next week. I won't. I am determined not to let her get the best of me.

So that's my news for the weekend. Now, onto a few words from others that have resonated with me these last few days.

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"Over the years, people have asked me, "Do you really hear voices?" No, but I will say that Ed screaming in my head was way more powerful than any audible voice could have been."   ~Jenni Schaefer Life Without Ed

I talk an awful lot about my disorder and what she tells me to do, or just how loud her yelling is. I'm sure at least some of you have wandered what exactly I mean by that. Do I really hear an actual voice in my head telling me what I am and what to do - No. But what I hear is way worse, does more harm, than any actual voice - real or imagined - ever could.  

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"What had he really gained by all this trouble? What had he brought back from this long and weary journey?
Nothing, you say? Perhaps so; nothing but a charming woman, who, strange as it may appear, made him the happiest of men!
Truly, would you not for less than that make the tour around the world?"
~Jules Verne

These were the last lines of Verne's "Around the World in Eighty Days". It's the second book of his I've read, and I thoroughly enjoyed both. The way he writes evokes such vivid imagery in my mind, and I so wish I could be on the adventures his characters partake in. Though, what I loved most about this particular book were these words and their message that love really is what matters.

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" "Why are you sad?"  "Because you speak to me in words, and I look at you with feelings."  "   ~Leo Tolstoy

I remember writing about Anna Karenina last summer and being lulled under the magical spell of the words in it's pages. I ran across this line again recently and it won't stop echoing in my mind. There's power behind them. They're raw truth.

 

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That is everything with me for now. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.