Roadtrips, "Running" and Birthdays!

I woke up this morning to a grayer sky than I've been living with the past couple days. While a gray sky in Norway is never a good excuse to nix any outdoor plans, I just wasn't feeling the activities I'd originally planned for the day. So after pet care, coffee and breakfast - in that order - I darted out to the car and steered my way towards Highway 44 and the route that would take me to one of my favorite places from last year, Byrkjedalstunet. It is a drive that can never be less than breathtaking, no matter if the sky is full of sparkling sun or billowy, crying clouds. I think I could drive it every day and never grow tired of it's quiet beauty. Never grow tired of it mentally/emotionally that is, for by the time I turned into the parking lot of my destination I was physically beginning to lag. I pursued the gift shop/candle factory for a bit before walking next door to the hotel restaurant for a coffee. I could have taken my elixir of life to go (they call it "takeaway" here!) but chose instead to sit for a bit and enjoy the quiet bustling of the kitchen and the near emptiness (it was always super crowded last summer) of the restaurant.

When I was finally ready to leave I decided to take an alternate road back, one that would lead me

through Gloppedalsura, an area of fallen avalanche boulders, remnants of an ice sheet that covered the area 10,000 years ago. While I did not appreciate the very narrow one lane road (meant for cars going both ways) that at times seemed to have me simultaneously clinging to the mountainside and a half second away from falling into the lake, the boulders were definitely a sight to behold. The many valleys, rivers, and lakes I passed through afterwards just as lovely as those I'd come across on my earlier drive. Overall I was very pleased with that last minute decision.

By the time I arrived back at the house the sky had become darker and the rainfall more frequent so I decided to stick close to home the rest of the day. I did feel the need for some fresh air though and so attempted to emulate a tough Norwegian (seriously Norwegians make Alaskans look like wimps) by going out for a quick run. Quick being the key word there, I lasted 2 minutes before needing to stop. Being out in the cool air felt so rejuvenating and wonderful though so I did continue walking for a bit before turning around. I walked into the front door with wet hair and a happy spirit, so in love with this country I can't even begin to put it into words.

There is one other thing today that makes me happy. Today a little girl, my best friends daughter, turns 3 years old! I remember when Steph first called me to say she was pregnant. I remember the nervous excitement I felt when I found out the baby was a girl (I was so worried the doctors got it wrong). I remember the very first time I saw her, sleeping in her moms arms just over a month after she was born. Getting to know her fierce little spirit over the last year has been a true, absolute joy. I'm sorry that I'm not able to celebrate her birthday with her but am definitely there in spirit. And until get back and can present her with her real birthday present, here's a few short phrases to show just how happy I am that she's here.

She's being 'kissed' by faeries and sprinkles in the hair,

She's sassy independence singing Frozen everywhere

She's giggles full of glee over Shirley Temple curls,

She's sparkling matching jelly shoes on outings with the girls

She's a princess and a tomboy and Wonder Woman too,

She's chasing bubbles with delight around the living room

She's trouble when she wants to be, she's her mamma's favorite girl,

She's filled with magic happiness, dancing through the world

Happy Birthday Faith!

~

Happy in Norway

First full day in Norway and it has been heaven! My friends drove off on a roadtrip this morning leaving me with a house all to myself for at least the next three day until their return (they'll be home for a couple days then fly out to Paris!). It's been barely 12 hours and I'm already more relaxed and calm than I've been in months.

I took it fairly easy today, decided that even though I missed the jet lag bus again (thank goodness) my body would probably prefer short outings with resting breaks in between. It was gorgeous weather though and I wanted to be outside, so I drove over to Sverd i Fjell and walked the path that follows Hapsfjorden for a time basking in the sun. When I got home I grabbed my book and drove south along the windy, narrow roads looking for Borrstranden, one of my favorite discoveries from last time. It was slightly more crowded than on my first visit, but still remains one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever experienced. I stepped through the waves all the way to the beach's end then turned, pulled out Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and read my way back as the wind blew through my hair and the sand covered my feet. I finished just as I reached the car; really there is no better way to finish the first day of a trip.

Excited for the place I am in. Happy in the knowledge that I am completely alone. Ready for whatever tomorrow will bring!

Traveling Happiness

Just over a year after my original return, I once more find myself on the eve of another Norwegian adventure. My bags are packed (I think), and I am ready (I hope) for the long plane rides (10hrs then 2 1/2) that will fly me back to that magical land.

I have made no plans this time, have no secret hiking goals. Will I re-discover the cobblestone streets of Stavanger? Very likely. Will I re-visit my favorite walking route by the house and say hello to the milk cows as I pass? Almost assuredly. Will I step barefoot through the sand of the pristine beaches, shivering as the ocean waves splash over my toes? I certainly hope so. But even if I don't, even if I do nothing and end up stuck inside the house the whole two weeks I wouldn't care. When I called Norway a magical land, well, I wasn't just saying that. It is magic, old magic, the kind of magic that connects you with the spirit of the earth and the core of your soul. Being there gave me a peace and strength that followed me back to the states and helped give me the drive and courage needed to say goodbye to Maine and drive west to Utah. I wonder what it will help me with this time around? I guess I'll find out, soon. I am so, so grateful that the universe has seen fit to give me this incredible opportunity - again.

And with that I'm off to chase dreams, seek adventure, and find my dragon!

Mending

"If things are going untowardly one month, they are sure to mend the next!" ~ Jane Austin

This past week I've opened my eyes each morning to find a world a thousand times brighter than the one I'd been existing in since July 5th. It appears that my lifelong rollercoaster has finally reached the bottom of that particular plummeting crash and is more starting to climb into a dazzling blue sky.

To address some of the issues I listed in my post on Missing Home; for the most part I'm back to sleeping better. It's now rare for me to have a night of lying in bed hours after the sun has set with a mind that racing, refusing to let dreams soothe me. I do still have nights where I fall asleep fast and stay that way but wake up feeling as though I've run a marathon in the midnight hours. I don't have an explanation for that, the only thing I can think of is bad dreams. Hopefully that will pass. Work is as crazy as ever, but boring it now is not and the stress level has, maybe, eased down a notch (or maybe I've just adjusted to it!). I'll take that and be grateful, especially since there are a few people I work with who are truly awesome. Synge was for awhile continuing to head downhill both in weight and overall health. After more vet visits and bloodwork it (fingers crossed!) seems we might finally have her on the regime she needs. She even gained some weight last week!! My frenzied apartment hunt is now over, but that is all you will hear on that subject for a bit, at least until I return from Norway - which I am thrilled to report is finally happening!!! 

It will be a very different trip this time and not just because it's only two weeks instead of four. My friends dogs has stabilized but is still far from stellar health and continues to require a lot of care and attention. This means that hiking is not an option; surprisingly though I'm only mildly disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to go revisit some of the trails I explored last summer, and maybe even head down a new path or two, but the hikes I really wanted to do I did last summer. I have those memories and that will be enough for now. Besides, I'll have beaches to hang out on, the city to keep me busy, and - for when I really need to just move - the hundreds of walking trails that live just outside my friends front door. I think I'll love this trip just as much, it will just be a different kind of amazing.

There is one  thing that hasn't changed. I still miss Alaska, so much so that every breath I take still hovers around the edge of physical pain. But that has always been the case , it always will be, as long as I'm away. That I have learned to handle to breath through as long as other aspects of daily life are bearable, which they are. I've even had a bit of fun when yesterday Steph, her parents, the kids and I took on the Utah Renaissance Faire at Thanksgiving Point.

We cheered the Knights of Mayhem jousting, got lost in the spell of gypsies dancing, fell into joy at the sight of the sparkling Elven Fae, and bowed to Queen Elizabeth I herself. Even Captain Jack Sparrow made an appearance atop a pirate ship, both bringing much delight to adults and kids alike. We will definitely be back next year, only this time we will have costumes. Steph and I have decided that we would like to be Gypsy Faery Mermaids (I forgot to mention there were mermaids too!), a costume I think will find no better candidate, because at heart we already are all of these!

~~~~

Friday Poem

 

 

Happy Friday all! I just have a short little poem for the end of the week. I can't pinpoint any specific source of inspiration behind it, it simply floated into my head as I was driving home from work yesterday. Have a beautiful weekend :)

 



 

Deep in the heart of the woods at midnight,

Wildfires dance, faeries delight

Beneath night skies of diamond snow,

Their magic enchants, it haunts your soul

 

With fluttering laughter fueled by phoenix flames,

they spin dark fireworks, weave silver chains,

Hovering they wait for their spells to take hold,

then grasp your fingers, never let you go

~~~~~

 



One Fun Adventure and a Simple Poem

 No long post this week, just a fun adventure to share and a small poem. First the adventure; Farmington, Utah is home to an amusement park called Lagoon. The park has brought joy and excitement to Utahans and tourists alike since first opening it's 'doors' back in 1886, and visitors today can still enjoy the Victorian Carosaul that debuted in 1906 and the rickety wooden roller coaster that first thrilled riders back in 1921. To visit today costs a pretty penny ($50+), but once a year Stephanie's dad gets a screaming good deal on tickets ($5.00) from the company he once worked for. This year, that one day was yesterday, and I was lucky enough to go along.It was a blast!

It's been years since I've been on any ride scarier than a ferris wheel (which I do feel compelled to say does not scare me) and I have never been on a roller coaster - or any ride for that matter - that would spin me completely upside down. Well, that changed fast. I broke in the day on that rickety old roller coaster, got whipped around a twisty ride called Wild Mouse, and then went upside down, not just once but twice, on Colossus the Fire Dragon. My favorite ride though was not anything wild or crazy, it was the swings; the swings that raise you up high in the air and spin you around so you feel like you're flying. High on that swing I felt I was in heaven and could have happily stayed there until long after the sun had set.

And now a little poem I just began working on, inspired by the real Faery music I've been listening to all day...

Faeries flutter their diamond wings,

chanting soft music, enchanting my dreams

Beckoning gently they turn toward home,

with elysian beauty no mortal can know...

I long to discover what strange secrets they hold,

witness the wisdom of those ethereal souls

So I pursue on tiptoe their diaphanous wings,

forever to walk in this numinous dream

~~~~

Missing Home

A few weeks ago I was high on life and happiness. I went home. I was surrounded by my mom, sisters, and brother-in-laws. I held my two perfect, amazing, incredible nephews. I breathed the Alaskan mountain air and walked in the midnight summer sun. Then I returned to Utah and crashed into despair. To put it briefly:

- I'm haven't been sleeping well, at all
- Synge almost died from an insulin overdose (thankfully we've now got that all figured out)
- Work has been a weird combination of busy, boring, and stressful
- The sound system in my laptop broke
- I'm furiously looking for my own place; a depressing, discouraging, miserable process
- For the first time ever, reading is failing to bring me joy

 And I miss Alaska. Miss it so much that it sometimes hurts to breathe. I try to cope by blocking out  my emotions, which usually works, only I then become a numb, zoned-out, zombie. Of course I can only keep that up for a few days before my feelings refuse to be supressed any longer and I turn into a tearful wreck. I've said before that Alaska is the only place that I am complete, whole. And leaving, whether by choice or not, causes damage. On July 4th, when I stepped onto the red-eye flight destined for Utah I shattered. I haven't even begun put the pieces back together because I'm still trying to gather them all up, only I know I never will because half of them are floating in the Alaskan wind and only returning to Alaska is the only way I will ever find them.

When I first left Alaska five years ago, I promised myself I'd spend at least 10 years out exploring before going back; I think now I may have to revise that plan. Especially because of those two little babies, both growing bigger by the day. I hate not being able to hold them. I hate that I can't hug my mom and sisters. I hate that I'm missing so much of their lives.

Still, as miserable as I've been the past couple weeks, I'm not quite ready to give up on Utah. I know there are thousands of fun, vibrant experiences just waiting for me to step outside and discover them.It may not be my forever home but I do want to see if I can fall in love with it the same way I did Maine. I need to find my own apartment though. I did tour one Friday that I loved, really it would be perfect, but I'm too nervous and worried about how many other people may have applied to believe I'll actually get it. I'll keep my fingers crossed until I know one way or the other.

There have been a few bright gems since I've returned; diamonds in a storm that have helped me to remember life really isn't all that bad...I have gotten TWO birthday boxes from Maine friends filled with things I love beyond words. Steph and I threw a surprise Rainbow party for her kids a couple weeks ago full of fruit rainbows, skittles of all colors, tye-dye shirts, and a one of a kind canvas painting - it was an absolute blast! This past Tuesday, Benchmark held a Carnival day for the boys; we got a dunk tank, a bounce house obstacle course (which was AWESOME!), played water balloon baseball, face painted, and watched movies in the gym with snow cones, cotton candy, popcorn, and ice cream (scooped by yours truly) for refreshments. It was my favorite day of working there so far. And lastly, I've braved the 90+ degree temperatures to go hiking. This afternoon I wandered 30 minutes into Holbrook Canyon before ducking under some trees to a side trail that brought me to a quiet, hidden, shaded spot by the river. I spent one perfect beautiful hour there, listening to the music of the water as I put my thoughts to paper and imagining faeries were dancing about nearby.